Friday, June 10, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Bird is the....Tic?!
Jake's tics seem to last about three weeks on average. Meaning when a tic appears we can be pretty sure it will be phased out within a month. There's obviously no rhyme or reason for this, that's just how it is.
One tic that wants to stay though...well it's a fun one.
And no, I'm not talking about the word BIRD. I'm talking about that lovely digit that sprouts out of the middle of our hand. The one we all love to hate. The dreaded middle finger. When Jake's around, everything gets flipped off. The cats, the computer, the trees. Sometimes even nothing at all.
He's actually pretty good about not doing it in public. I don't know if it's a conscious thing or not but I suspect that he tries to hold it in. Because when we hit the car after being in a store it comes out full force.
There are times when he brings out the big guns too. Curse words. He doesn't say them at school somehow but when he's home, they come pouring out. And I let them. Now you might judge me because of that and I'm really okay with that. I try not to ask my son to be something that he's not. When we are in the privacy of our own home or the car, as long as he's respectful I let it go. Because I know he isn't saying it to be rude or mean.
Even when he slips in public, I just ignore it and move on. To point it out or say something will just compel him to do it more. I know people see and I'm sure they're thinking horrible things about it. But I find that the further we go into this adventure, the less I seem to care what others think.
I always try to remind people to think about what Jake goes through. He can only escape his tics when he sleeps. And unfortunately for him, he doesn't require a lot of sleep. =) For a lot of people this puts things into perspective. For those that don't get it...well they just don't get it. And that's unfortunate for them.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter. And those who matter, don't mind." - Theodor Seuss Geisel
One tic that wants to stay though...well it's a fun one.
And no, I'm not talking about the word BIRD. I'm talking about that lovely digit that sprouts out of the middle of our hand. The one we all love to hate. The dreaded middle finger. When Jake's around, everything gets flipped off. The cats, the computer, the trees. Sometimes even nothing at all.
He's actually pretty good about not doing it in public. I don't know if it's a conscious thing or not but I suspect that he tries to hold it in. Because when we hit the car after being in a store it comes out full force.
There are times when he brings out the big guns too. Curse words. He doesn't say them at school somehow but when he's home, they come pouring out. And I let them. Now you might judge me because of that and I'm really okay with that. I try not to ask my son to be something that he's not. When we are in the privacy of our own home or the car, as long as he's respectful I let it go. Because I know he isn't saying it to be rude or mean.
Even when he slips in public, I just ignore it and move on. To point it out or say something will just compel him to do it more. I know people see and I'm sure they're thinking horrible things about it. But I find that the further we go into this adventure, the less I seem to care what others think.
I always try to remind people to think about what Jake goes through. He can only escape his tics when he sleeps. And unfortunately for him, he doesn't require a lot of sleep. =) For a lot of people this puts things into perspective. For those that don't get it...well they just don't get it. And that's unfortunate for them.
"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who mind don't matter. And those who matter, don't mind." - Theodor Seuss Geisel
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Summertime, and the living is...crazy as usual!
Summer.
Pools, BBQ's, vacations.
Insane heat, cicadas and pterodactyls that stick around way too long. lol (The latest tic)
I'm not a fan of summer. Besides the fact that it's ungodly hot in the Midwest United States there's no schedule.
What most people love about summer I can't stand. It seems that during the school year Jake and I cope well with most things because there is a set schedule. Predictability in the everyday is usually a comfort when you aren't able to control anything else.
It's one reason I make Jake go to summer school. Yeah, it's only four weeks long and four days a week but it makes the summer so much easier to bear. He's entertained mentally and this makes the melt downs and tics easier to bear. Once that's over though...ugh.
Jake graduated 6th grade last month and now it's on to middle school. He's actually very excited about it but a little apprehensive at the same time. Excited because he'll be able to move around more during the day and meet new people.
Apprehensive because he has half a 7th grade class to introduce to his best friend. =\ He's been so lucky that his friends have grown up with his tics so they just know that they are part of him. It's just Jake. Adding new students to the mix will be...interesting for lack of a better word.
He's already had a small taste of what's to come. During the school year there was a lock-in at the middle school. It was comprised of the 7th and 8th graders and the 6th graders were invited so they could familiarize themselves with the school. Jake was beyond excited! It was one big social for him! lol
On the whole he had a good time. But a few days after he told me about an incident. He was walking down the hall to get to another part of the building and he was alone. There were a few 8th graders walking towards him and when they passed by one hit him in the arm. Enough to leave a bruise. These same kids had given him problems about his tics earlier. Because, of course, they were prevalent since he was so excited.
Much to my dismay Jake didn't tell anyone. As any parent knows it's hard to sit back and let your kid deal with stuff like this. You want to protect them from it but you can't. It's social suicide if you do and they'll never learn how to deal on their own. I try to make it clear to Jake often that he needs to be his own advocate. I'm not afraid to step in if I have to but I want him to learn how to do it himself.
Another incident happened this week on the first day of summer school. There were a couple of kids in one of his classes that were giving him problems. He told them he couldn't help it but they brushed him off. Thankfully, they didn't give him problems the next day but I stressed that if it happened again he needed to say something to the teacher or the principal.
As I stated before, kids are forgivable for their ignorance. They sometimes just don't know because they don't have the life experiences. That's why I was so thrilled that Jake did his presentation so much before the school year was over. I was so proud when I would hear how well he did and how he handled himself in front of the classes. He even had a few teachers that requested him to come into their room. He has already talked about going back next year and getting the teachers he missed.
I know that you can't expect everyone to understand, even if they are given the information. It's just the way of things. It's comforting though to see Jake become a little more confident every day. A little less concerned with how people see him. I love seeing glimpses of the great person that I know someday he will become.
So, we will endeavor to make it through the summer yet again. July and August will be long but I'm hoping we can fill them with enough things to do and it won't be quite as painful as it usually is. We are lucky to have so many free things to do around St. Louis and that will make things infinitely easier.
Pools, BBQ's, vacations.
Insane heat, cicadas and pterodactyls that stick around way too long. lol (The latest tic)
I'm not a fan of summer. Besides the fact that it's ungodly hot in the Midwest United States there's no schedule.
What most people love about summer I can't stand. It seems that during the school year Jake and I cope well with most things because there is a set schedule. Predictability in the everyday is usually a comfort when you aren't able to control anything else.
It's one reason I make Jake go to summer school. Yeah, it's only four weeks long and four days a week but it makes the summer so much easier to bear. He's entertained mentally and this makes the melt downs and tics easier to bear. Once that's over though...ugh.
Jake graduated 6th grade last month and now it's on to middle school. He's actually very excited about it but a little apprehensive at the same time. Excited because he'll be able to move around more during the day and meet new people.
Apprehensive because he has half a 7th grade class to introduce to his best friend. =\ He's been so lucky that his friends have grown up with his tics so they just know that they are part of him. It's just Jake. Adding new students to the mix will be...interesting for lack of a better word.
He's already had a small taste of what's to come. During the school year there was a lock-in at the middle school. It was comprised of the 7th and 8th graders and the 6th graders were invited so they could familiarize themselves with the school. Jake was beyond excited! It was one big social for him! lol
On the whole he had a good time. But a few days after he told me about an incident. He was walking down the hall to get to another part of the building and he was alone. There were a few 8th graders walking towards him and when they passed by one hit him in the arm. Enough to leave a bruise. These same kids had given him problems about his tics earlier. Because, of course, they were prevalent since he was so excited.
Much to my dismay Jake didn't tell anyone. As any parent knows it's hard to sit back and let your kid deal with stuff like this. You want to protect them from it but you can't. It's social suicide if you do and they'll never learn how to deal on their own. I try to make it clear to Jake often that he needs to be his own advocate. I'm not afraid to step in if I have to but I want him to learn how to do it himself.
Another incident happened this week on the first day of summer school. There were a couple of kids in one of his classes that were giving him problems. He told them he couldn't help it but they brushed him off. Thankfully, they didn't give him problems the next day but I stressed that if it happened again he needed to say something to the teacher or the principal.
As I stated before, kids are forgivable for their ignorance. They sometimes just don't know because they don't have the life experiences. That's why I was so thrilled that Jake did his presentation so much before the school year was over. I was so proud when I would hear how well he did and how he handled himself in front of the classes. He even had a few teachers that requested him to come into their room. He has already talked about going back next year and getting the teachers he missed.
I know that you can't expect everyone to understand, even if they are given the information. It's just the way of things. It's comforting though to see Jake become a little more confident every day. A little less concerned with how people see him. I love seeing glimpses of the great person that I know someday he will become.
So, we will endeavor to make it through the summer yet again. July and August will be long but I'm hoping we can fill them with enough things to do and it won't be quite as painful as it usually is. We are lucky to have so many free things to do around St. Louis and that will make things infinitely easier.
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